2/23/10 – Lowell Revisited and An Actor’s Dilemma

With two snowstorms on the horizon, we headed back to Lowell, MA, hopeful that the weather would not hinder our plans yet again. We had already postponed our return to the Bay Area for our break by one day in order to make up these missed performances, and it would be a shame if all of our schedule shifting had been for naught.



Luckily for us, the weather gods were smiling on us again. We performed to two packed audiences at the 900-seat Durgin Hall, located in the UMass Lowell Center for the Arts. This house of this venue has an odd, asymmetrical design. I am curious if the design imposes any limitations on the audience’s view of the stage. It did not seem to cause any issue for our audiences as they were both boisterous and very into the show.

As we packed up the show, everyone was very excited to be able to return home for a break, including myself. Personally, my spirit and will are broken. As I sit on the airplane and write this blog, I know that I need a respite from everything…the cast, the show, the schedule, life on the road. I am just too mentally and physically exhausted to derive excitement or enjoyment from anything - including performing – and that is extremely upsetting to me. Acting is my chosen profession and I live to perform; however, lately, the passion has escaped me.

How does one keep a performance fresh and exciting after 118 performances and 36 venues? For some, the answer is to just get through the experience and make it work from show to show. For others, the solution lies in adding new bits to the show in order to keep their minds stimulated and engaged in the performance process. And yet for me, the answer is not so black-and-white. While I am constantly having to adapt from show to show and make it work, and while I am always adding and refining character nuances, my dilemma lies in my desire to remain true to the integrity of the character and ultimately, to the integrity of the show. At this point in the tour, it is becoming exceedingly difficult to genuinely experience everything that the character encounters as a new event without feeling contrived and jaded. I am not sure if this challenge will be solved in the course of a minute, day, week, or lifetime even, but I will do my best to work through it being the Virgo perfectionist that I am.

And so I will use my time off in the next week, blog reader, to gain perspective on this challenge, to regain my inspiration and passion for theatre, and to prepare for the remaining portion of the tour. Out of 146 scheduled shows, we have had 118 performances, 1 cancellation, and there are only 27 shows left to do. Our East Coast stint is over – our Midwest days will be commencing soon!

Next stop – the Franciscan Center in Sylvania, OH in a week. Until the next adventure…

Ciao!
XOXO-
Janine