When Life Imitates Art

Isn’t it funny how life imitates art and vice versa? The onstage diva is just as demanding off the stage. The shy, socially awkward, intellectual individual in real life portrays a similar persona in a show. The examples are endless.

And yes…this phenomenon exists in the ‘Strega Nona’ cast as well. To varying degrees, we all share similarities with the characters we play in the show. Take the character of Strega Nona, for example. As the show’s lyrics indicate:

“She celebrates life,
She celebrates living,
She celebrates joy and the simple art of giving,
She celebrates love,
She celebrates laughter,
She celebrates joy, she celebrates love, she celebrates life!”

Much like Strega Nona, I, too, am a celebrant of life, always trying to find the positive and always appreciative of everything. Unwittingly, I have also taken on Strega Nona’s role as counselor, advisor and nurturer. In the play, the citizens of Calabria turn to Strega Nona to solve all their problems and she gladly accepts, often at the expense of her own needs. Similarly, the cast looks to me to help them with their problems, provide guidance and advise them.

Lately, the cast morale has been at an all-time low, and emotional levels are at an all-time high. The touring regime is extremely grueling and exhausting, and many people are overwhelmed by this schedule. It is not easy being away from the comforts of home and loved ones, and waking up day after day in a new location. For several, the experience of touring has so defeated them that every setback that we encounter, no matter how big or small, has now become an insurmountable obstacle, incapable of being resolved. Many of the cast are at their breaking points, ready to snap under the lightest of weights.

Although this is the general feeling that pervades most of the ‘Strega Nona’ cast, it is not a sentiment that I completely share. While I do agree that touring is a very difficult lifestyle, I am extremely happy and grateful to have this opportunity. I have come to embrace this experience with open arms, and see any hiccups that we encounter not as obstacles, but as learning experiences. I guess this attitude comes from being older and wiser, having experienced much and many more difficult situations in my lifetime. In a nutshell, I have learned not to sweat the small stuff, because in the long run, the stress of all that worry does a number on both your mind and body.

Being the empathetic soul that I am, however, I have not been immune to feeling the collective negativity that has hovered over our cast recently. And like my ‘Strega Nona’ character, I have felt impelled to help my fellow tourmates. The other evening, I tried to provide advice to some of my castmates, inciting them to stop worrying about small issues and wallowing in minutiae, and instead divert their energy toward other positive venues, be it reading a book or engaging in physical activity or enjoying the company of a new acquaintance. Acting is a very tough and difficult occupation, and I wanted to impart to them that if they did not develop a thicker skin, and instead let every small thing get them down, it would be very difficult to survive in this profession. Unfortunately, what I thought was a lesson in tough love was misinterpreted as being a judgment filled with spite and hate, and resulted in many tears being shed by my castmates, feelings being hurt and me feeling like a complete idiot. Everything that I had said was not said out of meanness, but love rather, and had I known that it would cause the reaction that it did, I would not have said it.

As a result of this incident, I have made a resolution to myself that I will only play Strega Nona onstage and not in real life. Of course, I will continue to be like Strega in our shared joie de vivre and positive outlooks, but I will no longer try to solve everyone’s problems. It is neither my place nor my responsibility to do so, and as everyone is an adult, they should be able to figure things out on their own. I will continue to lead by example and will be supportive, but will not offer advice or teach life lessons or help them make decisions. Unlike the Strega Nona character, who manages to solve everyone’s problems, including her own, by hiring two helpers, I do not have the luxury of doing so. It's just little ol' me. Why carry the weight of everyone’s problems on my shoulders and neglect my own issues?

It breaks my heart to have to make a resolution like this – I am a nurturer and enjoy helping people and teaching them. However, given the current volatile emotional environment, I feel that this is a necessary sacrifice, both to maintain my sanity and health, and also to maintain the integrity of the show. I must do my best to salvage and preserve what remaining relationships I have left with my castmates; I cannot live in constant worry, afraid that every time I do or say something, it will be misinterpreted or will hurt feelings. In some strange way, I know that my words of wisdom will not be missed. I think that it will be best for me to mince my words, remain silent and keep to myself, so that I will not feel impelled to help everyone, and ultimately, so as not to result in a misunderstanding. From now on, until the end of the tour, the only lessons that I teach will be onstage during a performance.

It has been quite cathartic to get this off of my chest, fellow blog readers, but I definitely feel much better. Now if only I could get rid of this dreaded cold…

Until the next adventure…

Ciao!
XOXO-
Janine